My ideas are okay. Yours are not.

Disclaimer : Abuse. The consequences are never ending, it is a cycle that we, as humans, will forever live in. If you do not care to hear someone else's opinion on sensitive subjects you would be advised to navigate elsewhere. I know there are people who will find this offensive and as you have your opinions, I have mine. I am no angel and I am just as guilty as the next consumer of the goods that hurt lives. This is just a small window as to why i think some things are dumb.

Basic foundation to base my opinion off of:

People are interesting creatures. Either you believe you are responsible for your own decisions or someone else is. It may be some combination of both or neither. Power is there whether you believe it's yours or not. Choices, choices, choices. Everyday millions of choices. Some of these are conscious decisions. Others are not so much. It's all a matter of control. We pick and choose everything we do and don't do. It's when we choose to take control of someone else or their decisions that I find interesting.

Likes. Dislike. Ideas. Beliefs. Thoughts. Are all usually one sided opinions. There are two side to every story. It's amazing how easy it is to forget that these one sided THINGS are very much double sided. Most people choose a stance and view the world from there. Once the decision is made it can be hard to change or see from another side. Often blinding. To some people the option of there even being another side just simply could not exist.

Giving a shit. We live in a culture where we have the freedom to care if we want to. There are so many ways to care. A little caring can go a long way as much as a lot of caring can go a little way. You do? You don't? Revolutions and revelations are built on it.

How the dilemma comes into play:

Today I signed onto the World Wide Web and logged into a little social networking site called Facebook. Maybe you've heard of it. Curious to see the adventures the world of my friends have gotten into I scrolled through my Live Feed. I was bombarded by one post. "BOYCOTT AMAZON!!" My live feed was covered in it.
Which included a link to a book Amazon was offering, which has now been removed called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure".
WTF?!
Attention sparker so I click and read the reviews about how everyone hates Amazon now. The product description didn't help :

"This is my attempt to make pedophile situations safer for those juveniles that find themselves involved in them, by establishing certian rules for these adults to follow. I hope to achieve this by appealing to the better nature of pedosexuals, with hope that their doing so will result in less hatred and perhaps liter sentences should they ever be caught."

Really? It's gross and stupid.
But you're going to "BOYCOTT AMAZON!!" over this? I could think of worse.
I don't care what anyone does really as I stand to gain or lose nothing by you boycotting Amazon. But I'm annoyed by this one. You same boycotters would be the biggest crybabies if someone did this to your books.

My thoughts :

Yes, I find this subject disgusting. Anyone that hurts a child deserves whats coming to them. I would never spend a penny on it to support this guy. That's it. That's where it ends. A book is a lot like television, if you don't want to watch it then turn the page. He thinks he's right. You think you're right. TWO SIDES. If boycotting Amazon would stop this guy or anyone who has the same opinions as him from doing what they want then you must be working some real magic. I bet you the library will get it. Or how about Barnes and Noble? Will you boycott them? Have you done any investigating lately into anything else that you might support or BUY that belittles some one's life? Or at least in some part affects some one's quality or lack of life? I bet not. If you do, you choose to not care and ignore it because it's not how you see it.

Greed? :

You care, which is great and you are doing what you think will help by getting others to care but don't try to blame your boycott on Amazon to greed. The problem I see with this kind of caring is how controlled and double sided it is. You are trying to control someone else for things you support in other forms.

Been to any major fast food chain lately? How about Walmart?? You go to these places to save a buck for yourself because you want more money to stay afloat in life. Amazon is only doing the same. Worn any Nike's or Converse or almost ANY brand lately? Use a computer much? Sure these make life nice for you but at a price of someone else.

Welcome to reality, they all use SWEATSHOPS! These sweatshops hire people in other countries, including children! Out of sight out of mind. These children work for hours on end everyday for most of their life. They are often abused and live in what we would consider unlivable conditions for wages no one can live off of in countries they have no rights in. The same greed finger you point could very well be pointed back at you for saving your buck and supporting this act.

Books :

Another wall people seem to be hiding behind for boycotting is how this can be a learning manual. Or that books like this should not be available because it may influence someone to molest a child. You could say that about any book! If I read an biography of a serial killer or rapist does that mean I will go out and do what they did? I think it would be cool to be a ninja why don't I go read a bunch of ninja books with that thinking.

Sure you could hide behind the types of books and say that a ninja book won't make someone want to turn into one because well that's fiction so that's different. Ever read the Bible? The most printed book EVER. Definantly gory. Supposedly true. Encourages people to live by it! But most people are smart enough to know that when it actually tells you to pluck out some one's eye or stone them, you don't actually go out and do it. You wouldn't boycott Amazon for that because you see that as right and well since it's right in your eyes it can't be wrong. Right?

Why aren't these places being boycotted for selling history books? Ever heard of Hitler? He did some crazy shit but you can buy books about him anywhere. They teach it in school. One might say that they don't teach about child molesters in school so they don't need these books available. This book sure as hell would have come in handy in any psychology or sociology class I've ever taken. I've taken more than one class in High School and Junior High where I was searching for hours for this point of view on the Internet for school projects. And who's to say law enforcement or psychologists can't use this to profile and help people! The best way to defeat something is to understand it. If people are so quick to burn books or boycott any place that sells them how the hell would we ever learn?

Why stop there :

Well you're at it try boycotting the news for documenting or reporting crimes. Or any horror movie for showing people how to commit crimes. Oh, and video games.

Brave Little Toaster

All the traveling has been had! The destination has been reached. Lots of goals and deadlines met with stealth planning.
I started out the year with a phone call of a theoretical place with theoretical friends. A maybe reunion of epic proportions. As time went on so did the line up. A line up of faces and people now lost in faded memories of youth. It's hard to tell what will become of something so few and far between. Would anyone come? Will anyone remember me? Will there be tension? It's easy to let the mind ramble of what if's and it creates such a mix of emotions.
Then there was the Please turn in your vacation request IM I received... I had a feeling I didn't want to just drive home this year. I needed a "Bahamavention". After social networking and reconnection with the grandparents. A few phone calls and a plane ticket later, my mind was racing. I was going to Florida.
By now it was May and well with Florida in August and a strong cross of the fingers this reunion was NOT happening at the same time! A text was received that put my mind at rest. September 11th.
August comes and well I was very excited to spend a week in a new place with family I love. The time came after hellishly wicked flight path to save almost $200, I made it! I spent my first day burning as the jet lag sucker punched me on the beach. I sat napping, slowly roasting in the sun blissfully unaware of the skin regimine I signed myself into. Then I ate ribs. They were good.
Barbara and I headed down to Key West for a few days. Did some parasailing. Booze cruising. Shopping. Cuban food eating. Jet skiing. Cats jumping through flaming hoops on a port during sunset! More skin burning. I toured the Hemingway house and saw me some six toed kitties! Then we headed back to Pompano. We did more stuff but you'll have to ask. It's no fun if I give all the gorey details up front!
Once home we did some relaxing and playing on the beach. Laundry. Food. Keeping it real.
Went down to Miami with Brian to Jungle Island where I completely geeked out over birds. All day.
The rest of the trip was mainly spent on the beach and eating good food while being silly with my grandparents.
Insert another long day of Beanos on a Plane.
Now imagine after spending a week in nice warm weather and playing in the water and seeing new places, what happens? You get bitch slapped by reality. WORK. That first week back was awefully long.
Next week not so bad. Average or so.
Week after that people were gung ho crazy! Mixed with my nervousness of this dream "209 Family Reunion" was making me want to crawl into a hole.
Friday came. I got off work and the madness began. I had to make it from work, drop off my car at my place, then to the airport and through security in pretty much an hour. Hmm.. not much imagination needed here. I ran through arms flailling completely barefoot as they were loading my plane. Close one.
I landed to find a very happy Jennifer. Happy lovey emo sillys. I've been on ground in California for five minutes so now I need me some In n Out! Got me a number one with extra cheese, no onions, and neopolitan shake, to go. Thanks.
Sorry for the random text for Chuck's gathering on Saturday at two am if you were a lucky recipient. My intentions meant well :)
Jennifer, Rayanne, Baby Chase, and Lynn were my Chuck's dates. Perfect and good times. Iphone shannanigans and people throwing shit down my cleavage.
Next brain scene :
Jennifer, Rayanne, Myself in route to Target.
R : Hey Bryanna! Do you know what I like??
B : YOUR FACE!
R : Retarded.
J : LOL
B : :(
Keep in mind Rayanne is four!
Walked around Target opening all the shirts because Baby Chase needed to look fly for a lady friend to accompany him that evening to the reunion. That was really important. I love my Chase time.
Then Jennifer and I drove ALLLLLL the way out to Valley Springs because I NEEDED to see the lovely Mike and Shannon because it has been grossly long :(
We chatted and hugged and made fun of dumb folk. Good times but it was most def not enough.
Somewhere on the drive from the shop I found out that an old great friend that I thought hated me, thought that I hated him, and we had just gone the last year and a half not talking because of this. FML. My heart hurt, my head hurt. New mental landmark added to trip!
I got dropped off with Miss Chocolate. Nice to see thy lady!
Went to the show and was overwhelmed beyond belief.
I saw a trazillion people I know and loved. Lots of familiar faces. A few I was estatic to see. One who grew awesome with time. Entirely too many people to introduce my little cousin to! I really have no words to describe this night.
It was amazing to see how people have grown up. Everything was the same and it was so different. Needless to say with all this mind warp going on it was time to stroll to the bar. Lots of like minded friends there trying to escape as well!
Beer was nice, company even better.
Went next door and saw the awesome Yabbo! I am so proud for him and his shop. I wish nothing but the best. Nice to meet Tim and see Johnny.
The bar and the shop consisted of the in between band times for me.
An old deal was made and promised to carry out.
It was amazing to see Jared play! Then to see momma and poppa Hachman was nice.
All the bands did great. Betty Rage dedicating the set to Mo pulled some heart strings. Scattered Fall's surprise was great :)
I had no idea in the world I was ever going to say bye so I found it best to disappear unnoticed. So I did.
I met a special friend and we shared a special moment...I am not sure who was more scared, but my debut into the tattoo world was made! I leave it there because it was a moment in time that is very unique to me and I hope us. Love is a funny thing sometimes.
I awoke glowing from such an awesome night.
Found my way to Legacy. Where else do I go when I am in town?! No Jose :( well cuz Sundays suck. I got to see Melissa and share some time with her. I always enjoy Melissa time :)
Then Lynn surprised me with the most beautiful cake ever! It was a special moment I shared with Lynn and Melissa. It's really hard to have down time in such a short trip and I am glad I was able to find it for a minute with these two.
I landed at my Baba's shortly after :) I love to see my cousins and the kittys and hear my grandma's stories. I enjoyed it very much until I feel asleep :(
I got to open a lot of presents. Late/early Christmas is awesome!
Repacked all my junk then my mom drove me to the airport.
This is where the trip makes me angry. Sacto airport, you suck. SO...I walk up to security and all the guards are nice and friendly asking me about Portland and stuff. We were chatting so much that they let me walk through with my hoody. Then one said oh "Mam I need you to remove your sweater". I took off my hoody and was of course wearing a tshirt that makes my tattoos visible. Instantly there was tension, they were all looking at each other with big eyes. Then one says "Mam please grab your property and come with me". I grabbed my stuff and followed the lady. She opens my bag and just starts rubbing these white circle things all over my stuff! I asked her what she was doing and she ignored me. I asked her a little more firmly a second time. She eventually said that she wasn't allowed to say it out loud but I could look over her shoulder on the computer to see what she was doing. I stood on my tip toes and could see the computer said "EXPLOSIVE ANALYSIS AND TESTING". Really?! Really?!
I have nothing to hide and I was obviously doing nothing wrong but it was fucking stupid. I hope someone with explosives walks by because you decided to test me based on tattoos assuming I am a piece of shit. Had they asked to do this prior to making a big scene staring at each other all big eyed, then maybe I would have believed it was random.
Of course I have ten second memory span and was on my way. Happy for my trip and happy to be headed home.

I have fail this blog, mostly.

I don't know where my ambition for this page went. The computer at the Dundee house crashed and well, doing this on the iphone is hardly agas.
For those who don't know of recents since last post : started working in North Portland, shortly (last Saturday) moved to North Portland. St. Johns but whatevs. a lot of mental activity but I'm sure if you don't know then that's cool too.

Futures :
I am headed East for a bit to visit the family. Mucho needed. Then I am flying down to Stockton for a day for the 209 Family Reunion, cuz I'm baller, or stupid, perhaps too cool for school. And well that eats all my PTO for the year since my tooth tried to eat me and my heart almost burst. All expensive, all no fun.
Future fun : I hope to start my back soon. I plan to start jogging across the St Johns bridge at least twice a week into Forrest Park in the mornings.

Sorta tired. Brain is tired. I'll update more.

One Hunnid years later

So I am aware for the most part this blog has been unactive.
With a strong lack of any enthusiasm to do an update lately due to: whatevermyexcuseistoday.
A few new things.
My knitting is doing well. I just ran out of yarn.
I am now a gym member and have been taking vitamins and eating too many meals a day.
I applied for a new position at work and failed. Boooo!
I have decided to "let go" of majority of my old band tee's by making them into pillows.
I failed my motorcycle class.
Passed the ccwp class.
Started and finished my tamaxxx tattoo with much help from the awesome Austin!
Grew a finger mustach.
Bought a fairly expensive toki doki bag but love it to pieces.
Went to a tattoo convention and got toasty with bier only to meet my bosses daughter on accident. Then procceded to buy a cigar box purse.
Found out Zelda's bf passed not too far after she did.
Had our three year anniversary by going to the cheese factory.
Died my hair. It's no longer virgin.
Family trama x2.
Bought a pimp suit for work.
Snapple now comes in a can.
That may be all?

I applied for a new position

In the totem pole called work I have applied for a new position. I'm nervous because I have it or I don't.simple right? Wrong. My imagination is an evil evil thing. It shows me all the beauty and rewards of getting and it shows me all the mental self abuse if I don't. I dream optimistically which isn't half bad for a pessimist. I even bought fancy clothes as a good omen. Well I find out in the next few days so I can stop this madness shortly.

sorta been making

baby blankets (for friends babys not mine, thank you...), scarves, eventually learning beanies for amber my lovely.
but most of all cupcake and sprinkle pendants. google it. radddd!
started to blow up my leg and lookin for more, but im sorta poor, all the time.
toodles.